My adventures in writing

Last year was my most productive year in my writing life. I wrote six plays of varying length and am very proud of each of them. This year, to top that ambition, I would love to finish 10. Now, if you look at most people who aspire to writing plays, they tend to write a couple and then hammer them to death. I did that to a play I barely want to ever look at again (14 drafts so far). However, to finish 10 would be a miracle.

I don't necessarily follow the rules of writing a play. I first start with writing a little dialogue and then try to come up with a scenario later. Often I find the plot somewhere in the first 20 pages or so.

Now, how I could finish 10 plays or scripts this year could be pretty easy, actually. I have at least five that are in the first 20 pages. I also have a couple that are over 50 that could be done in no time.

However, I have about 20 concepts that could be turned into outlines, something most writers do first, and those could either pour out of me or sit on my computer for the rest of time.

Either way, I will try to keep this blog informed of my progress. So far I am not close to being finished with any of them and it is the end of March.

Peace.

Talkin' Politics

The other night was really fun for me. I went out for the first time in a long time. While I was out, I had the chance to discuss one of my favorite topics: Politics.

Now, for me, politics is not a game or a sport. I don't get off on someone getting shunned in the media, like Spitzer or Craig, but I do like when people realize their political leanings and realize what is best for their situation.

Back to my conversation, I got to talk about what I envision for the future of America. Because most people don't realize that they lean to the left, I needed to remind people why being a "liberal" is a good thing.

What I like is the idea of creating new industry in the green world. The term "Green Collar Worker" is a way for Americans of every stripe to make a living. From those that can engineer the new technologies to those that can assemble the products. It is, basically, a way for America to make up for all the jobs we ship to third-world countries.

I also talked to how conservatism only works in a bubble. You see, it works if you live in a little cabin and forage and make your won way but, if you live in the modern world, conservatism doesn't work at all. You see, while people want to be a part of the "me" generation, you have to share the infastructure, the sewage lines and the same power grid. We need roads plowed, paved, rebuilt for our vehicles and for our commerce to move about. We have one world in common. That is one of the main reasons I write this thing, to talk about our commonalities.

This is where I give you ammunition. The next time you get into it with someone wanting to talk about how bad it would be to be with the liberals, tell them that you all share the same world and, like it or not, you have to learn to get along and agree on things.

Peace.

Cruddy day at work

Lately my manager has scheduled me in shifts I am not fond of. I figured out why and it's kinda telling, actually.

You see, when someone works in the service industry, they thrive on the chaos. Sure, there is plenty of down time, on both ends of the shift, but it is the chaos of having to manage so many things in such a short amount of time that we begin to thrive on.

But, with this chaos, I think it comes that you begin to crave the chaos outside of work. Case in point: Living on the edge. People in my industry drink heavily, gamble and pursue activities that, sometimes, push the boundaries. I've worked people into group sex, alcoholics, drug addicts, actors, writers, poets, rappers, musicians, single moms and dads, philosophers, scientists; you name it. But I think it is the drug that is the chaos and reward of waiting tables that make us keep coming back. but is this healthy?

I would say that the lifestyle is at once enviable and pathetic. You hit a glass ceiling pretty quickly and you are constantly trying to win the affection of people so that they will give you money. It is takes one made of stronger stuff to survive. It also creates a physical and mental fatigue that makes one feel like they are working too damn hard for too little reward. My legs haven't felt normal or as strong as they were years ago. I realize we all age but I am not out of shape.

Maybe it is just me but I see, time and again, the same kind of people drawn to my line of work. There is so much baggage and so much story that I wasn't surprised that the movie "Waiting..." was created just for this niche of society.

Hopefully I don't have to do this forever. I would hate to be doing the same thing 6 years from now, when I am 40. Ugh!

Peace.

When you accomplish something...

The life of an artist is never boring. Sure, it may have moments of "blah" but it eventually finds something that you can do or say that makes it more than fun to be alive.

Case in point: Last night Cory, after tireless hours, made a short film for his family on Easter. If you don't know, Cory is my roommate and best friend. We have known each other for over 10 years now (wow!).

Anyhoo, Cory worked until about 5 am today to finish the movie and, tonight, we transfered it to the computer and onto DVD. We watched it over and over, put it to music, and it turned out pretty well.

This, in turn, inspired me to work on some of my plays. This year I plan on finishing a number of first drafts. I have about five that are in the first quarter of being done. However, I have not took off on any one of them yet and cannot, for the life of me, figure out how all of them are going to end. However, I have no doubt that they will come to me and, when they do, I will have more than enough works to consider myself well on my way creatively.

So, whatever inspires you, go with it. It's more than just fun, really. I just hope that I can keep it going before I feel too old.

Peace.

President for all

I figured something out not that long ago: President Bush is not a president for all. In fact, he is president for a rare few and that is hugely, hugely disappointing.

I don't purport to know much about the presidents in our history. However, from what I can figure out, isn't this leader support to be the leader of all people?

Bush has a lot of rhetoric that sounds like he is looking for all Americans but he really isn't. He looks out for special interests and people that have the neoconservative ideals but he doesn't really care for the other half that call themselves liberals. That's too bad, since he told us, in the beginning, that he was a "uniter."

And that's why I like this guy Obama. After watching snippets from the speech he gave yesterday, Tuesday, I have no doubt that this guy has the best of intentions for this country, regardless of his political stripe. A great orator he may be, I hear an intelligence in his words, dating back to the Democratic national convention of 2004. He could be great for this country, especially after the ineffectiveness of Bush and his agenda.

Please, if you read this, research this guy. I think you will like what you see.

The addict next to me

Sitting on the machine, I could tell right away that this woman had had a troubled life.

She mumbled to herself as if she was cursing the heavens for the luck that she had brought upon herself. Even in victory, she cursed both heaven and Earth. But for what reasons, I could not ascertain.

Maybe it was my dumb luck that, without realizing it, maybe this was my opportunity to change the life of someone, affect their direction and set them right. But I let is passed. Without word I sat at my own machine, pushing away and hoping to just abide my time. But I noticed just how sad her face looked. It was aged well beyond its own years, probably from a hard life. Maybe before her appearance at the casino she had gone to the bar. Maybe she had gone away from an abusive husband. I don't know. Should I have cared?

It points to something bigger as well: The individualization of society. Here is sat, less than a foot away from a person who I actually could have communicated with, possibly could have changed the world with (you never know), and I did none of that. I might have said a word or two but nothing more. I affected nothing but maybe envy. Maybe I looked like a person of confidence, even if I wasn't. Any way you look at it, it could have been an opportunity and I chose not to take it.

Withdrawal

Coming down off an addiction is a bitch. 

I've been fighting an urge to do what I refer to as "resetting." What I mean is that, over my life, as I stated before, I never really had a whole lot of money. I made do in college, jumped from job to job in my mid-20s and found myself finally gaining a footing in my late-20s. Well, here I am, on the verge of mid-30s and I am plainly not sustaining a feeling of peace of mind.

Last night I was jonesing for a release from the anxiety that comes from my pathetic addiction. It was the third such night in a week where I could have been impulsive, headed to the casino, and not given a rats ass about how my bank account would look like afterwards. But I stopped, somehow.

It boils down to a need to reset or regain a sense of normal. When you are not used to success you will take whatever emotion comes your way. You can start by trying to be ambitious but that only goes so far until you run into the hurdles. I don't really like hurdles. But, like at a track meet, you can't win that race unless you attempt to jump over the hurdles. No one wins by going around them.

So I sit here today, a chance to have a new day, new anxieties and having to deal with them for another night. It's only been two weeks since I last erred but it is no easier to not just give in and throw caution to the wind. Believe me, I have tried several remedies and little seems to work. I can only hope that I just learn to deal with and try to move on as best I can. I really don't want to have to leave the state or country or the people I surround myself with to get over it, as I like my current situation.

So, day 13 plus 12 hours, I can only hope that I make it just one more day and then after.

Tattoos: More power to you

Dear friends, this is a rant about a pet peeve of mine dating back to the early 1990s. Be warned, I don't care who I offend with this rant. Enjoy.

Tattoos are the one thing I will never got, not in a million years. They mean nothing to me and are a trend that I am far too old to start delving in.

I run into people, every day, that have tattoos and I just don't get it. What could you possible want on your skin for the rest of your life? Does this object define you now or forever? I don't see anything that I would be willing to vouch would be something that would stick with me.

Not to say I don't understand the identity need. People either get them to identify with and object or with others around them. The latter is actually the sadder of the two. People come and go in our lives, it's just a matter of time. Sure, we all assume our friendships endure but the reality is that what was cool when you were a teen is not who you are as an adult. Don't believe me? Why do you think people make money removing them?

The truth is that I must be jealous because getting one would up my badass status. Maybe people would even show me more respect. After all, I got ink done. 

I'm just a bitter old man, I guess. I never caught on to drinking either. I just don't do a lot of things because other people do them. I don't even own a mobile phone, which gets me the weirdest looks, means that I am secure enough in not caring about what others think of me not to just do something because it is cool now.

Getting tattooed, to me, is a fad, plain and simple, and the willingness to spend money to make a statement like that is, in my opinion again, cliche. It used to make a statement long ago but now it is something most people do. Isn't it weird that people without tattoos are now the rare ones? Bee-zar!

Working through a problem: Addiction

I could feel the pull as the clock ticked away. As night approached, I felt a jonesing to make my way to the casino, a place where I have slowly spent a considerable amount of time and money.

But, on the verge of throwing off all that I could have done else, I made a decision to not go. The night prior, feeling the urge as well, I downed half a bottle of wine, something I have never done, in hopes of scaring away the demon. It worked but then there was the next day to contend with.

You would think, once you find your life in order that the need to reset the clock would be the furthest thing from your mind. In my case, it isn't far enough away. Where once I spent time jumping from job to job, never quite fitting in and finding myself searching again for a place to pay the bills, I had finally found that there was something I could do, at the same place for a long period of time, and that I would be able to relax and enjoy the fruits of my labor.

But right before this period three years ago I found myself trying my luck at the casino for the first time in a long time. I hadn't been a habitual gambler up until this point. I had played some games some time but, three years ago, I had no idea what lay ahead. Now, sitting here tonight, I have done nothing to be proud of other than avoid another night of regrettable behavior.

The only good thing that has come out of this is probably the fact that it may have spurred me on to work on my creative pursuit in writing. I have been more prolific in the past three years than at any other time. While I haven't met much success in my writing, I am doing it and getting it out there. But, in trade, I dug a very deep hole that I am now just climbing out of financially.

I guess what I am trying to say is that I am glad I made it one more night. It gives me hope for the future, as well, to try and avoid repeating it but, as we all are, I am only as good as I say.

Good luck to anyone trying to overcome a difficulty in their life.

Spitzer and the political stripe

Lest we all forget, idiots are idiots, hypocrites are hypocrites and we all need to just accept that, despite claims to the contrary, we are all human in the end.

Eliot Spitzer, now former governor of the state of New York, did something stupid, despite the fact that he is a Democrat. He did it because he was vain or stupid or both and paid the consequences for his action, plain and simple.

Scandals in politics are just what they are. It comes with the territory and you just need to get used to the idea that powerful people do powerful things because of their personality. 

I don't point at every scandal one party does or another and say that this is because of their political bend. I merely accept that it is a universal truth that people are going to abuse their position in life to get ahead or do things that a seemingly normal person would not do.

One can not lump the actions of one or a few individuals together and claim that all are the same way. This stereotyping has led us, as humans, to do dastardly, despicable things. Maybe we don't hire someone for a job because they're a different skin color, maybe we assume that someone is cheap because of how they dress. We are all guilty of it.

Spitzer is simply a big hypocrite and he got caught. We could assume that, because of his political stripe, all Democrats cheat on their spouses or buy prostitutes but it is simply untrue. So I hope people do not judge others of the same stripe as being the same kind of person because, unlike Spitzer, I've never paid for sex and so haven't a lot of others.

The U.S. Government should be on a budget

I know what you are thinking: We have a budget. However, that budget compensates too readily to exceed the standards set by the institutions in charge.

In Minnesota we supposedly have a balanced budget amendment to our state constitution. This means that we have to either fall in line with spending, cut spending or sell bonds to spend more money.

But, that being said, we need to be more proactive, on the federal level, to set a budget, using the money we have, and work toward paying off our national (read internal) debt.

So easy it sounds, scholars, economists and, worst of all, politicians can't seem to do it. I think it has more to do with a corporatist approach to governance where corporations have too much say in the fed and they get their way until the governing body gets to look as sickly as it does today.

How did our government, of, for and by the people, get to be so whipped? How did it go from representative of the common person to the concerns of the business class? Because, frankly, it is easier to say "yes" to special interests rather than doing the hard choices of being a responsible government.

But this has caused some major league problems in that our government is slowly destroying itself. We can go out in the streets, have parades and wave flags, have fund drives and "go shopping" all we want but the reality is that we need something far more drastic: An overhaul.

First off, we should take some quality time off because work is going to be a bitch. Congress would have to be in session for about one year straight with no breaks. During this one year we would basically throw off all the pork and favors and lobbied ideas. Gone would be such institutions as would distract from the task of governance like perks. I got sick of the idea that working as an elected official is like being set for life. We pay these people way too much to do as little as they do. And, if they want to gripe about this year, we can always put them into the places in the world where the idea of clean drinking water is a luxury and see how they like the view. (Well, that is how I would shut my future children up when the griped that they didn't get the PS5).

Once we have all of Congress doing their job then we give them all the money situation. We show them exactly what they have and then tell them to get to work. They can start by cutting out all the pet projects. Sure, it will be drastic but it is wholly necessary.

Next they get to take a long, hard look at some of the spendiest things they fund. Health care, military, subsidies and education are a few that come to mind. Out can go the dead horses that should have gone out a long time ago. Follow that with realistic looks at what we fund and why. The military could use a really, really big trimming. I figure that we spend way too much on defense spending. Projects that don't work, equipment and vehicles for fighting bigger wars that don't exist and even changing the way we pay our military need to be considered. 

Eventually these now stressed out members of Congress would have to start making big decisions. Maybe they cut out the crap we, the people complain about all the time. Maybe they even throw out so much stuff that they actually get back to the business of governing. 

I could go on and on and I think I am beating a dead horse but I think I got a good idea what our government needs: A good, swift kick in the ass. The privilege of governance is that you get to represent all of the people, whether you truly like them or not. You get to look out for their best interest, even if you don't make a penny off of it.

It shouldn't be a glamorous job and it shouldn't be a popularity contest like its become. It should be about doing the best job we can and lead us into a better world, not just a privileged one.

My day off

It is past the midday and I am just thinking about leaving the house. I have been kind of a homebody lately, other than going to work, and I don't know if it is good for me or bad.

The good thing about being a homebody is you can accomplish quite a bit of what gets neglected, mainly housework. You also save a bit of money since you are not eating out or buying other things to fill your space.

The bad part is that, at the end of the day, you kinda feel like you didn't "do" anything fun, like being social.

So I ask, is it even worth worrying about or am I some kind of neurotic?

I woke up too early

After getting about 5 hours of sleep, about half of what I normally get since I don't have much of a social calendar, I am up and blogging.

Okay, I will more than likely go back to sleep soon but not until I relate the story of how a customer, yesterday, tried to ruin my night by embellishing just how tragic her life was.

At 4:45 pm, I ordered food for this table of two women. They were kinda snobby to begin with but they are a customer and you get what you get. Anyway, she got her food at roughly 5:00 pm and began eating it. At roughly 5:05 I inquired on the food, to which responded that it was good. Five minutes passed and noticed that she needed a refill. Five minutes or so later they stopped me to see if they get a free refill on a non- free refill drink. I watch their plates closely, as to see if they need boxes, and in that time the restaurant fills up. By the point of 20 or so minutes later, I inquire if they need boxes, giving them ample time in which to eat their food, when the customer pulls out the jerk card.

You see, if I might stop the story here, this is where it gets ugly. Most customers are peaches. They enjoy themselves, realize it is a meal and they are relaxing and having a good time. They also realize that it is Saturday night and most people go out on Saturday nights so they don't lose their mind when things go wrong or take a little longer. Unfortunately, this woman was an exception. She about lost her mind, demanded that her food be free, because I "ignored her" for an unrealistic amount of time and, when a manager suggested that I give them free dessert, she got mad.

Now, understand that body language is key in a restaurant. If a couple of customers are chatting away with the food squarely in front of them, they are usually not done eating and want to be left alone. You watch them every time you go by, making sure they don't want to leave right away. This woman's body language did not change from eating to done eating. Granted, it is my job to still ask, but, unfortunately on this evening, I was both sick and had an object hit me on my head, causing a bit of problems but nothing major.

The moral of the story is two-fold: Don't underestimate a customer based on body language. Sometimes they don't give off any. The second is don't go out to eat angry. I could tell, when they first got there, that they meant business and seemed little involved with having a good time. The fact that the woman "watched" me go to my other tables, being sat all around her at a frenetic pace, and not being willing to understand that it was, once again, Saturday night at a high-volume restaurant, got her a free meal she did not deserve. Nothing was wrong with her food or beverage service. She even told the manager an embellished amount of time to make her seem more pathetic. 

And I wonder why I have server nightmares...

Day 3: The server nightmare

If you didn't already know, I work in a restaurant as a server. I have worked in several restaurants in my adult life, mostly in casual dining, but they are taken their toll.

Last year alone I have not felt energized or active for the majority of the time working. In fact, it takes a good while to recoup the energy lost during a single busy shift.

But that is not what kills me. In fact, it is something more subconscious: The server nightmare. It occurs when, basically, I go to sleep. Most nights, save a few, I dream about work. In the dream I fall behind and start upsetting the customers. Things go wrong or orders take too long and they all give me a look that says "I want you fired."

Surprisingly, however, the dreams never have managers getting angry with me. I wonder if it is something just part of my subconscious that I have a problem dealing with the idea of failure.

Who knows...

Day 2: The election debacle

Okay, so we know that the election is coming down to one of three people. However, I am not one too happy with my choices.

The last time we elected a president, look at what we got: Crap. Someone who was a failure before and remained a failure but on such a massive stage.

Now we have the lesser of evils, really. I don't trust McCain, Clinton or Obama all too much. These aren't the finest we could come up with in the political arena. No one sings of having virtue or the tenacity to lead the country.

Heck, why would any of them want to anyway? It's a tough job, Bush pointed out it was "hard work," and the inheriting of a divided people is only admirable, if not insane.

But fret not for what doesn't kill you on your doorstep is only slightly less painful. Reality is that you and I feel micro shocks of what goes on in politics. A little chiseling of our income here, a raising of fees there. Unfortunately some of us are affected in much bigger ways but, as long as it doesn't kill us on our collective doorsteps, why worry all that much?

I envy those too ignorant to be aware of the truths of our current situation. They go about their daily lives worrying about little else than what they are told to worry about. The president doesn't see fit to tell us to worry about really important things so I guess we can only worry about that which is arbitrary, like terrorists gaining a navy and coming over here in their non-existent aircraft and killing all of us. (Obviously I stopped being too scared about terrorists).

The sad fact is that, come election, I won't get to vote for who I would really like as president because, frankly, the greatest leaders aren't necessarily the most popular kids in school or the star athletes beyond. They don't act in movies or run Fortune 500 companies. Some of our greatest leaders, unfortunately, can be shouted down by political pundits and don't feel it is necessary to have to be scrutinized by a corporate media to do a good job. They just stick to their ethics and do a good job outside of the seedy world of politics.

So, come election day, vote for the lesser of two evils, whatever way you want to go. Just don't be ignorant about it, okay?

Day 1: About the writer...

Welcome to my blog. This is the first ever blog I created, as have probably been said a million times before in the same forum.

Let me tell you a bit about me. As a person, I am not much of anything special other than insight and the ability to use the English language to impress upon people that they need not worry, we will all get through this...

Actually, we all need some voice(s) of reason in this world. Better than what we have, and louder. That is why I am starting this. 

I have been writing since I figured out how to put words together. I wrote a dumb picture book in second grade and haven't stopped since. Today I am working on works for the stage, mostly, and have amassed several works both in print and online.

So, if you happened upon this blog, I hope you enjoy it. Leave comments and tell me if I am out of line. I don't take it personally...