My adventures in writing

Last year was my most productive year in my writing life. I wrote six plays of varying length and am very proud of each of them. This year, to top that ambition, I would love to finish 10. Now, if you look at most people who aspire to writing plays, they tend to write a couple and then hammer them to death. I did that to a play I barely want to ever look at again (14 drafts so far). However, to finish 10 would be a miracle.

I don't necessarily follow the rules of writing a play. I first start with writing a little dialogue and then try to come up with a scenario later. Often I find the plot somewhere in the first 20 pages or so.

Now, how I could finish 10 plays or scripts this year could be pretty easy, actually. I have at least five that are in the first 20 pages. I also have a couple that are over 50 that could be done in no time.

However, I have about 20 concepts that could be turned into outlines, something most writers do first, and those could either pour out of me or sit on my computer for the rest of time.

Either way, I will try to keep this blog informed of my progress. So far I am not close to being finished with any of them and it is the end of March.

Peace.

Talkin' Politics

The other night was really fun for me. I went out for the first time in a long time. While I was out, I had the chance to discuss one of my favorite topics: Politics.

Now, for me, politics is not a game or a sport. I don't get off on someone getting shunned in the media, like Spitzer or Craig, but I do like when people realize their political leanings and realize what is best for their situation.

Back to my conversation, I got to talk about what I envision for the future of America. Because most people don't realize that they lean to the left, I needed to remind people why being a "liberal" is a good thing.

What I like is the idea of creating new industry in the green world. The term "Green Collar Worker" is a way for Americans of every stripe to make a living. From those that can engineer the new technologies to those that can assemble the products. It is, basically, a way for America to make up for all the jobs we ship to third-world countries.

I also talked to how conservatism only works in a bubble. You see, it works if you live in a little cabin and forage and make your won way but, if you live in the modern world, conservatism doesn't work at all. You see, while people want to be a part of the "me" generation, you have to share the infastructure, the sewage lines and the same power grid. We need roads plowed, paved, rebuilt for our vehicles and for our commerce to move about. We have one world in common. That is one of the main reasons I write this thing, to talk about our commonalities.

This is where I give you ammunition. The next time you get into it with someone wanting to talk about how bad it would be to be with the liberals, tell them that you all share the same world and, like it or not, you have to learn to get along and agree on things.

Peace.

Cruddy day at work

Lately my manager has scheduled me in shifts I am not fond of. I figured out why and it's kinda telling, actually.

You see, when someone works in the service industry, they thrive on the chaos. Sure, there is plenty of down time, on both ends of the shift, but it is the chaos of having to manage so many things in such a short amount of time that we begin to thrive on.

But, with this chaos, I think it comes that you begin to crave the chaos outside of work. Case in point: Living on the edge. People in my industry drink heavily, gamble and pursue activities that, sometimes, push the boundaries. I've worked people into group sex, alcoholics, drug addicts, actors, writers, poets, rappers, musicians, single moms and dads, philosophers, scientists; you name it. But I think it is the drug that is the chaos and reward of waiting tables that make us keep coming back. but is this healthy?

I would say that the lifestyle is at once enviable and pathetic. You hit a glass ceiling pretty quickly and you are constantly trying to win the affection of people so that they will give you money. It is takes one made of stronger stuff to survive. It also creates a physical and mental fatigue that makes one feel like they are working too damn hard for too little reward. My legs haven't felt normal or as strong as they were years ago. I realize we all age but I am not out of shape.

Maybe it is just me but I see, time and again, the same kind of people drawn to my line of work. There is so much baggage and so much story that I wasn't surprised that the movie "Waiting..." was created just for this niche of society.

Hopefully I don't have to do this forever. I would hate to be doing the same thing 6 years from now, when I am 40. Ugh!

Peace.

When you accomplish something...

The life of an artist is never boring. Sure, it may have moments of "blah" but it eventually finds something that you can do or say that makes it more than fun to be alive.

Case in point: Last night Cory, after tireless hours, made a short film for his family on Easter. If you don't know, Cory is my roommate and best friend. We have known each other for over 10 years now (wow!).

Anyhoo, Cory worked until about 5 am today to finish the movie and, tonight, we transfered it to the computer and onto DVD. We watched it over and over, put it to music, and it turned out pretty well.

This, in turn, inspired me to work on some of my plays. This year I plan on finishing a number of first drafts. I have about five that are in the first quarter of being done. However, I have not took off on any one of them yet and cannot, for the life of me, figure out how all of them are going to end. However, I have no doubt that they will come to me and, when they do, I will have more than enough works to consider myself well on my way creatively.

So, whatever inspires you, go with it. It's more than just fun, really. I just hope that I can keep it going before I feel too old.

Peace.

President for all

I figured something out not that long ago: President Bush is not a president for all. In fact, he is president for a rare few and that is hugely, hugely disappointing.

I don't purport to know much about the presidents in our history. However, from what I can figure out, isn't this leader support to be the leader of all people?

Bush has a lot of rhetoric that sounds like he is looking for all Americans but he really isn't. He looks out for special interests and people that have the neoconservative ideals but he doesn't really care for the other half that call themselves liberals. That's too bad, since he told us, in the beginning, that he was a "uniter."

And that's why I like this guy Obama. After watching snippets from the speech he gave yesterday, Tuesday, I have no doubt that this guy has the best of intentions for this country, regardless of his political stripe. A great orator he may be, I hear an intelligence in his words, dating back to the Democratic national convention of 2004. He could be great for this country, especially after the ineffectiveness of Bush and his agenda.

Please, if you read this, research this guy. I think you will like what you see.

The addict next to me

Sitting on the machine, I could tell right away that this woman had had a troubled life.

She mumbled to herself as if she was cursing the heavens for the luck that she had brought upon herself. Even in victory, she cursed both heaven and Earth. But for what reasons, I could not ascertain.

Maybe it was my dumb luck that, without realizing it, maybe this was my opportunity to change the life of someone, affect their direction and set them right. But I let is passed. Without word I sat at my own machine, pushing away and hoping to just abide my time. But I noticed just how sad her face looked. It was aged well beyond its own years, probably from a hard life. Maybe before her appearance at the casino she had gone to the bar. Maybe she had gone away from an abusive husband. I don't know. Should I have cared?

It points to something bigger as well: The individualization of society. Here is sat, less than a foot away from a person who I actually could have communicated with, possibly could have changed the world with (you never know), and I did none of that. I might have said a word or two but nothing more. I affected nothing but maybe envy. Maybe I looked like a person of confidence, even if I wasn't. Any way you look at it, it could have been an opportunity and I chose not to take it.

Withdrawal

Coming down off an addiction is a bitch. 

I've been fighting an urge to do what I refer to as "resetting." What I mean is that, over my life, as I stated before, I never really had a whole lot of money. I made do in college, jumped from job to job in my mid-20s and found myself finally gaining a footing in my late-20s. Well, here I am, on the verge of mid-30s and I am plainly not sustaining a feeling of peace of mind.

Last night I was jonesing for a release from the anxiety that comes from my pathetic addiction. It was the third such night in a week where I could have been impulsive, headed to the casino, and not given a rats ass about how my bank account would look like afterwards. But I stopped, somehow.

It boils down to a need to reset or regain a sense of normal. When you are not used to success you will take whatever emotion comes your way. You can start by trying to be ambitious but that only goes so far until you run into the hurdles. I don't really like hurdles. But, like at a track meet, you can't win that race unless you attempt to jump over the hurdles. No one wins by going around them.

So I sit here today, a chance to have a new day, new anxieties and having to deal with them for another night. It's only been two weeks since I last erred but it is no easier to not just give in and throw caution to the wind. Believe me, I have tried several remedies and little seems to work. I can only hope that I just learn to deal with and try to move on as best I can. I really don't want to have to leave the state or country or the people I surround myself with to get over it, as I like my current situation.

So, day 13 plus 12 hours, I can only hope that I make it just one more day and then after.