I am tired of my life. Day in and day out it is this lame cycle that goes the same. I do the same thing, go to the same places, with the same people, and work at the same job doing the same thing like a cookie cutter.
I look mostly the same and I still feed the same vices. I make no headway on anything and I don't get any real satisfaction from anything anymore.
What I could use is moving away and starting wholly over with my life. I could do it, I really could. I just need a backpack to carry my TV in...
But seriously I have tried very little, honestly, to change my life. Maybe I am afraid of something or maybe I am just down in the dumps. Whatever it is it is making me lose my smile. I am happy in little spurts these days and can't shake the feeling that I have already achieved the best I will achieve.
I don't want to turn to drugs or alcohol and, if I told anyone other than a blog how I am feeling, I would be ridiculed. How fortunate that this blog is not read by anyone...
Tomorrow I will get up and go for a long bike ride. I may go longer than ever before because I am having problems shaking my insecurities and a good ride seems to make me feel better.
Peace.
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1 comment:
You know, I've been feeling that way too, Nick..... I feel like there's not enough time, and the days, weeks, months and years are rushing by and I'm not doing what I want..... I think you gotta just get out there and do it, whatever it is....
...and for god's sake, give Ian a call and do something once in a while. He's bored as can be, but won't admit it.
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