This Wisconsin recall election, and the kind of comments I read after the articles about it, make me a sad person.
The fact that democracy is a game of who can hurt the other side more rather than actually standing for something makes me feel doomed for our future.
While the blame for the world's problems are handed about to whoever wants to actually do something about anything, frankly, we have a divide that seems too ignorant to continue.
When one side demonizes the other, they seem to speak from inexperience. They don't understand what makes up the other side's opinion, they just know they don't agree with it.
And let's face it: We don't want to agree with each other, not really. Instead we dig in and fight harder until our behavior will be the end of us. No logical course to it, just a fight that means only that we only give a little attention to what we were fighting about in the first place.
It feels like elections are too little, too late. After all, we, the people, are fighting for sanity rather than reality. We choose to ignore the parts we don't like and think with our hearts. And all sides want a piece of it.
The unfortunate outcome will be that nothing will have been fixed and things will really only get worse as we play into the politics of distraction. Just listen to the vitriol and try to see differently.
I just wish elections didn't come down to what we currently have. It's a shame because we really do have more in common than we pretend we don't.
Sunday, August 7, 2011
Thursday, November 18, 2010
Gods are silly
By the title, one would assume I was either drunk or high on drugs. But I am totally rational and this is something that has been bugging me for a long time.
Mankind has an irrational notion of a higher power. Passed on as a idea from generation to generation, with the younger ones wanting to be polite, we have created the answer to our conscious state of being as being endowed by a higher power. We have had wars over it, subjected our people to unfair and brutal punishment in its name and, all the while, relishing that these beliefs will, somehow, get us favor in an additional life we just pretty much made up to aspire to.
I was once a very young boy. In that time I did not believe in a higher power. However, as a young man, I feared that this belief would end with me being killed for not going along with my people. It was only in my 18th year did I discover there was a word for what I was: An atheist.
As time has gone on, to make friends in this world, I have cowered to their beliefs. I have also gone so far as to be polite to relatives that still hold onto the silly notion of God and, frankly, I am tired of it.
I don't mind not believing. In fact, I am proud to be an atheist, as should all who wish to openly question those that insist that society, as a whole, has been hoodwinked and suckered in the name of control.
In America, there is a feeling you can't be open about not wanting to go with what crap was taught to you by your fooled elders. We are often made to fear a fallout from the gods so that we must follow or else! When one os naive, or craves a sense of belonging, they are often made to feel that their beliefs must be validated lest they lose position in society or not get to where they want to be.
But a truth we often gloss over is that most rational people have already abandoned religion and, well, it's okay. People are moving away from the old ways, thankfully, and I firmly believe that this will be the thoughts going forward. Religion will be minimized and, hopefully, replaced by rational, positive thoughts.
If one fears that, without Gods we cannot be moral, one only has to look to history. There was morality before spirituality, it just got combined, to the dismay of those that just wanted to live in a peaceful world without feeling they absolutely "must" convert.
I believe a bigger problem is that most religions have a control aspect, where the average person must be with or against, with no in between.
Our modern American society, while becoming more tolerant, most cast aside the old ways of thinking. It is not a must convert but a must tolerate but stand up for what they believe. but maybe it isn't as visible now. Maybe we just need our leaders to stand up and out themselves.
Here is me outing myself. This holiday season, I shall stand for my reality and that is I don't share your beliefs and that's fine. Just don't expect me to pass along your messages, your ways.
Peace.
Mankind has an irrational notion of a higher power. Passed on as a idea from generation to generation, with the younger ones wanting to be polite, we have created the answer to our conscious state of being as being endowed by a higher power. We have had wars over it, subjected our people to unfair and brutal punishment in its name and, all the while, relishing that these beliefs will, somehow, get us favor in an additional life we just pretty much made up to aspire to.
I was once a very young boy. In that time I did not believe in a higher power. However, as a young man, I feared that this belief would end with me being killed for not going along with my people. It was only in my 18th year did I discover there was a word for what I was: An atheist.
As time has gone on, to make friends in this world, I have cowered to their beliefs. I have also gone so far as to be polite to relatives that still hold onto the silly notion of God and, frankly, I am tired of it.
I don't mind not believing. In fact, I am proud to be an atheist, as should all who wish to openly question those that insist that society, as a whole, has been hoodwinked and suckered in the name of control.
In America, there is a feeling you can't be open about not wanting to go with what crap was taught to you by your fooled elders. We are often made to fear a fallout from the gods so that we must follow or else! When one os naive, or craves a sense of belonging, they are often made to feel that their beliefs must be validated lest they lose position in society or not get to where they want to be.
But a truth we often gloss over is that most rational people have already abandoned religion and, well, it's okay. People are moving away from the old ways, thankfully, and I firmly believe that this will be the thoughts going forward. Religion will be minimized and, hopefully, replaced by rational, positive thoughts.
If one fears that, without Gods we cannot be moral, one only has to look to history. There was morality before spirituality, it just got combined, to the dismay of those that just wanted to live in a peaceful world without feeling they absolutely "must" convert.
I believe a bigger problem is that most religions have a control aspect, where the average person must be with or against, with no in between.
Our modern American society, while becoming more tolerant, most cast aside the old ways of thinking. It is not a must convert but a must tolerate but stand up for what they believe. but maybe it isn't as visible now. Maybe we just need our leaders to stand up and out themselves.
Here is me outing myself. This holiday season, I shall stand for my reality and that is I don't share your beliefs and that's fine. Just don't expect me to pass along your messages, your ways.
Peace.
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Seeing death
Every once in a while I have smacked the life out of an insect. Heck, I've even inadvertently killed gnats while riding my bike or on my windshield whooshing down the roadway. I have seen these deaths. And tonight I saw one that was a bit closer to home.
On my way back from work on Tuesday night I happened to be passing a spot where people often gather on the Northwest corner of Cedar Lake, where the Cedar Lake Trail crosses under Cedar Lake Parkway. It is kind of a serene, placid place, until yesterday. Now, for me, it will be a reminder of where I experienced the death of one of my human travelers.
A man, I did not know him nor did I ever see his face, was lying on the ground, his body crumpled from having fallen (that is about as graphic as I will get), was involuntarily breathing his last breath as myself and others stood around, helpless to do anything. His life ended in front of all of us and we could do nothing but vainly call for help. By the time the help had arrived, it was too late.
But all of us, trying to do what little we knew what to do, were affected. I am not saying that we were any type of victim of this accident, just witnesses. But the thoughts could nothing but occupy my mind: Someone lost a loved one and nothing could be done to change that.
I have not experienced much death in my life. I have been fortunate in this, very fortunate. And seeing what I did, I can only move forward and appreciate what I have, the life I usually take for granted. This man could well have been me or anyone. And, because it wasn't, I must do my best to not take this short span of time as if it is a guarantee.
From this point on, every time I ride along this point, I will remember the life I saw extinguished. It will be a reminder to me to push forward.
Peace.
On my way back from work on Tuesday night I happened to be passing a spot where people often gather on the Northwest corner of Cedar Lake, where the Cedar Lake Trail crosses under Cedar Lake Parkway. It is kind of a serene, placid place, until yesterday. Now, for me, it will be a reminder of where I experienced the death of one of my human travelers.
A man, I did not know him nor did I ever see his face, was lying on the ground, his body crumpled from having fallen (that is about as graphic as I will get), was involuntarily breathing his last breath as myself and others stood around, helpless to do anything. His life ended in front of all of us and we could do nothing but vainly call for help. By the time the help had arrived, it was too late.
But all of us, trying to do what little we knew what to do, were affected. I am not saying that we were any type of victim of this accident, just witnesses. But the thoughts could nothing but occupy my mind: Someone lost a loved one and nothing could be done to change that.
I have not experienced much death in my life. I have been fortunate in this, very fortunate. And seeing what I did, I can only move forward and appreciate what I have, the life I usually take for granted. This man could well have been me or anyone. And, because it wasn't, I must do my best to not take this short span of time as if it is a guarantee.
From this point on, every time I ride along this point, I will remember the life I saw extinguished. It will be a reminder to me to push forward.
Peace.
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
This shared space
Right now someone is laughing. Right now someone is crying. A baby is born, an old person dies. A man is traveling down a road, lonely and missing his wife. A truck is being driven to it's destination full of goods from China, goods for Chinese people.
An actor is at a party chatting up a sweet young thing. An actress is trying to fall asleep because she opens on Friday. Somewhere someone rich is in a comfortable bed. Somewhere someone is sleeping on the floor.
The sun is up, the sun has long since set. Someone is making their deadline, someone is looking down at the surface of the ocean and wondering what the fish must be thinking about. A bear is rolling over in it's sleep, a dog is barking at shadows.
This is not to say that there is vast differences between the perception of these realities and what is actually taking place but to say that you can only wonder who truly takes all of this in to decide what kind of food they will consume in the morning.
I love this world, warts and all because, frankly, it is the only world I have. It is filled with all, truly, that one can imagine, even if only in the imagination of our collective thoughts.
I feel good about the world, about prospects, about coming together, connecting and, one day, shouting down those that wish to take advantage of what we don't know. I call this time the "Great Transition," if I hadn't mentioned it before. It is a time when a lot of us will become aware of how we are treated, aware of who we are and how, ultimately, we decide to share this world in common. We will, no longer, assume this and that, become more curious and question our doubts about the intentions of others.
It will be a painful process, nonetheless. We are correcting for centuries of bad behavior, for those that wield power but choose not to share the truth. We are correcting our poor habits and choices, the assumptions we made that steered us down paths, in hindsight, we would not venture again.
But let us not forget that we are not in this alone. That we have the love of our fellow creatures and the shared hope of faith that our hard work will pay of. A grand wool has been lifted from our eyes and we must cherish this for only from it can we hope to be reborn and enlightened.
And so I seek to spread my message of the future, with those that choose to listen, understand and work toward actual change. May we all open our minds to the new way, the better way, because we can only live in the here and now.
Peace.
An actor is at a party chatting up a sweet young thing. An actress is trying to fall asleep because she opens on Friday. Somewhere someone rich is in a comfortable bed. Somewhere someone is sleeping on the floor.
The sun is up, the sun has long since set. Someone is making their deadline, someone is looking down at the surface of the ocean and wondering what the fish must be thinking about. A bear is rolling over in it's sleep, a dog is barking at shadows.
This is not to say that there is vast differences between the perception of these realities and what is actually taking place but to say that you can only wonder who truly takes all of this in to decide what kind of food they will consume in the morning.
I love this world, warts and all because, frankly, it is the only world I have. It is filled with all, truly, that one can imagine, even if only in the imagination of our collective thoughts.
I feel good about the world, about prospects, about coming together, connecting and, one day, shouting down those that wish to take advantage of what we don't know. I call this time the "Great Transition," if I hadn't mentioned it before. It is a time when a lot of us will become aware of how we are treated, aware of who we are and how, ultimately, we decide to share this world in common. We will, no longer, assume this and that, become more curious and question our doubts about the intentions of others.
It will be a painful process, nonetheless. We are correcting for centuries of bad behavior, for those that wield power but choose not to share the truth. We are correcting our poor habits and choices, the assumptions we made that steered us down paths, in hindsight, we would not venture again.
But let us not forget that we are not in this alone. That we have the love of our fellow creatures and the shared hope of faith that our hard work will pay of. A grand wool has been lifted from our eyes and we must cherish this for only from it can we hope to be reborn and enlightened.
And so I seek to spread my message of the future, with those that choose to listen, understand and work toward actual change. May we all open our minds to the new way, the better way, because we can only live in the here and now.
Peace.
Saturday, September 25, 2010
The scary liberal agenda
So I just happened to be tuning in today to NPR when former congressman Vin Weber came on and used the insufferable phrase "liberal agenda." My first reaction to this goes as follows: Everything you say after using this new, horrible phrase will be taken with not only a grain of salt but a massive eye roll.
You see, people who don't like "Liberals," which is to speak that this is somehow like having a disease, think that using a truly not scary term is a way to get their point across. It's not. I mean, the only feelings it conjures is that they don't want me to look at their own agenda.
Now, I understand that, you know, fear is a good driver to get your way. It makes us go to work or get annual check ups or appreciate that which we have in this world. But, when it comes to politics, it should be outlawed to pretend like your opponent is a bad guy, because they are usually not.
And, considering that most experts would agree, the present version of the American leftist popular politician is far from liberal. In fact, they are more like diet conservative. Will the constant shift to the right wing of politics, it has been said that even Conservative folk hero Ronald Reagan wouldn't pass for a conservative in this day and age. Clinton and Obama are centrists, if anything.
True Liberals are few and far between in the current administration and government. They are too afraid to be to the left because, at one point, the word "liberal" became synonymous with anti-American, which it isn't. And don't assume Democrats are leftists, because they have to pander to the populous just as much as their Republican neighbors.
I am all for socialism, a leftist policy, because, frankly, the world is too modern and things are too messed up without it. We need to take care of one another, especially with the understanding that shit happens and some people want to run roughshod over their neighbor. As I tell people, I believe to be a Republican is to love America and hate Americans.
The agenda of the right wing of any society is to pretend like self-sacrifice and selfish behavior are one in the same. It is to pretend that, if all was privatized and regulations voided that the world would be a veritable Shangri-La. Not so much. The moment we do not have social safety nets or guaranteed education, the least of us would whither from the world or, in other parts of the world, turn to villainy. Look at Somalia, look at Calcutta. Look at places where workers are exploited, where rape is used as a weapon of war. This kind of "freedom" is un-American. But that is what happens when a new line is drawn daily, pushing the person's back to the wall. You will eventually fight back or be killed.
America should, by all accounts, be better than it has become. It shouldn't be a place where the "haves" make the rules. Often times they aren't even right, just covering their own asses. And the saddest part is, for money, for access and prestige, the values of ones fellow human is compromised, a bullhorn given to the loudest shouters, the message of "you should be afraid of those that actually care" trampled upon, in the name of a not so free market.
The scariest part is that people, average humans with advantages not known by the masses, turn into characters, betraying their shared convictions so as to be seen, to be popular or to make the almighty dollar. Meanwhile well-meaning people, assuming that favor will be given to them in the future, give them the keys to kingdom.
If the "Liberal Agenda" is to make sure my fellow Americans get what they need, I am all for it. And maybe those that are being labeled should stop pretending it doesn't hurt them, because it does. When they are out of a job or watching all they worked for get trampled upon in the name of keeping the "Haves" happy, then they will truly realize they had the power all along, to grab the bullhorn and tell the talking heads to shut the hell up.
You see, people who don't like "Liberals," which is to speak that this is somehow like having a disease, think that using a truly not scary term is a way to get their point across. It's not. I mean, the only feelings it conjures is that they don't want me to look at their own agenda.
Now, I understand that, you know, fear is a good driver to get your way. It makes us go to work or get annual check ups or appreciate that which we have in this world. But, when it comes to politics, it should be outlawed to pretend like your opponent is a bad guy, because they are usually not.
And, considering that most experts would agree, the present version of the American leftist popular politician is far from liberal. In fact, they are more like diet conservative. Will the constant shift to the right wing of politics, it has been said that even Conservative folk hero Ronald Reagan wouldn't pass for a conservative in this day and age. Clinton and Obama are centrists, if anything.
True Liberals are few and far between in the current administration and government. They are too afraid to be to the left because, at one point, the word "liberal" became synonymous with anti-American, which it isn't. And don't assume Democrats are leftists, because they have to pander to the populous just as much as their Republican neighbors.
I am all for socialism, a leftist policy, because, frankly, the world is too modern and things are too messed up without it. We need to take care of one another, especially with the understanding that shit happens and some people want to run roughshod over their neighbor. As I tell people, I believe to be a Republican is to love America and hate Americans.
The agenda of the right wing of any society is to pretend like self-sacrifice and selfish behavior are one in the same. It is to pretend that, if all was privatized and regulations voided that the world would be a veritable Shangri-La. Not so much. The moment we do not have social safety nets or guaranteed education, the least of us would whither from the world or, in other parts of the world, turn to villainy. Look at Somalia, look at Calcutta. Look at places where workers are exploited, where rape is used as a weapon of war. This kind of "freedom" is un-American. But that is what happens when a new line is drawn daily, pushing the person's back to the wall. You will eventually fight back or be killed.
America should, by all accounts, be better than it has become. It shouldn't be a place where the "haves" make the rules. Often times they aren't even right, just covering their own asses. And the saddest part is, for money, for access and prestige, the values of ones fellow human is compromised, a bullhorn given to the loudest shouters, the message of "you should be afraid of those that actually care" trampled upon, in the name of a not so free market.
The scariest part is that people, average humans with advantages not known by the masses, turn into characters, betraying their shared convictions so as to be seen, to be popular or to make the almighty dollar. Meanwhile well-meaning people, assuming that favor will be given to them in the future, give them the keys to kingdom.
If the "Liberal Agenda" is to make sure my fellow Americans get what they need, I am all for it. And maybe those that are being labeled should stop pretending it doesn't hurt them, because it does. When they are out of a job or watching all they worked for get trampled upon in the name of keeping the "Haves" happy, then they will truly realize they had the power all along, to grab the bullhorn and tell the talking heads to shut the hell up.
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Yay and boo!!!
Yay for obesity rates not rising anymore! Boo for those not willing to understand that there body isn't for excess food storage!
Boo for Haiti earthquake!
Yay for sun shining on my world today! Boo for the general ignorance to global warming!
Yay for opportunity! Boo for putting it off!
Boo to caring about celebrities! Yay for those that use said celebrity to affect change for good!
Yay for coffee! Boo for caffeine addiction!
Yay for neat and fascinating technology! Boo for holding back and only funding ones to make money!
Boo to terrorism. You're killing the wrong people! Yay for the passive resistant, for their message will overcome!
Yay for the differences that our the shared world! Boo to the ignorant who don't see it as a positive!
Yay for social programs! Boo to those that don't see the value in shared knowledge!
Boo to politicians for only thinking of themselves! Yay for those that keep up the good fight to make this a better world!
The world is an awesome place, if you fancy being here and being a part of it. Good or bad, it is our world in common. I love being alive, just don't try to spoil it for me.
Boo for Haiti earthquake!
Yay for sun shining on my world today! Boo for the general ignorance to global warming!
Yay for opportunity! Boo for putting it off!
Boo to caring about celebrities! Yay for those that use said celebrity to affect change for good!
Yay for coffee! Boo for caffeine addiction!
Yay for neat and fascinating technology! Boo for holding back and only funding ones to make money!
Boo to terrorism. You're killing the wrong people! Yay for the passive resistant, for their message will overcome!
Yay for the differences that our the shared world! Boo to the ignorant who don't see it as a positive!
Yay for social programs! Boo to those that don't see the value in shared knowledge!
Boo to politicians for only thinking of themselves! Yay for those that keep up the good fight to make this a better world!
The world is an awesome place, if you fancy being here and being a part of it. Good or bad, it is our world in common. I love being alive, just don't try to spoil it for me.
Monday, January 11, 2010
A shovel-ready world
There are a lot of innovators and innovations out there in this world. It is apparent, by the fact that humanity has survived this long, that we know a thing or two about survival.
But, in that thought, how we are we doing at thriving?
An individual is held aloft as an example of success or failure. Somewhere, along the way, someone saw fit to give resources to someone they believed could do this or that. Whether it be someone who can balance the books of a store or can disassemble and reassemble a machine without affecting it's ability to work.
Along these lines, humanity has failed it's lesser strong. While we hold up the strong and bemoan the weak, we forget that we are a global village, of sorts. Long gone are the inability to have little knowledge of our neighbors and co-inhabitants. Turn on the television, internet or radio. There we are. In our voices, in our actions, our story is told and told again. We do things and we move about the planet, fat and happy.
Somewhere along the line, however innocent the transgression, we forgot to prop up the weak. Sure, we have safety nets, in some, not all, places but the idea of living is lost on the majority of those deemed successful.
Effort is something that seems to have it's origin in the genetic tree. Where, at once, our ancestors were successful at not only passing along our genes but making sure the next generation gets to keep going, it was supposed to be a tool to teach those next to us how to be successful as well. No cheating, no cutting corners, just honest work that brought about resources. And, after the effort, we got to benefit but the effort.
But, in today's world, a lot of that simple effort is lost on the fact that we must push beyond that which we find mundane. We must also do a lot of maintenance, lest we lose what we have. This is the information we wish to learn from our parents, our elders.
Getting back to my original point, their is a lot of innovation out there that is ready to benefit those who already know but need that fiscal push over the top. It is just unfortunate that those who could really use the boost, those that got left behind by time, will not be the benefactors, or will truly understand why they never got the chance.
But, in that thought, how we are we doing at thriving?
An individual is held aloft as an example of success or failure. Somewhere, along the way, someone saw fit to give resources to someone they believed could do this or that. Whether it be someone who can balance the books of a store or can disassemble and reassemble a machine without affecting it's ability to work.
Along these lines, humanity has failed it's lesser strong. While we hold up the strong and bemoan the weak, we forget that we are a global village, of sorts. Long gone are the inability to have little knowledge of our neighbors and co-inhabitants. Turn on the television, internet or radio. There we are. In our voices, in our actions, our story is told and told again. We do things and we move about the planet, fat and happy.
Somewhere along the line, however innocent the transgression, we forgot to prop up the weak. Sure, we have safety nets, in some, not all, places but the idea of living is lost on the majority of those deemed successful.
Effort is something that seems to have it's origin in the genetic tree. Where, at once, our ancestors were successful at not only passing along our genes but making sure the next generation gets to keep going, it was supposed to be a tool to teach those next to us how to be successful as well. No cheating, no cutting corners, just honest work that brought about resources. And, after the effort, we got to benefit but the effort.
But, in today's world, a lot of that simple effort is lost on the fact that we must push beyond that which we find mundane. We must also do a lot of maintenance, lest we lose what we have. This is the information we wish to learn from our parents, our elders.
Getting back to my original point, their is a lot of innovation out there that is ready to benefit those who already know but need that fiscal push over the top. It is just unfortunate that those who could really use the boost, those that got left behind by time, will not be the benefactors, or will truly understand why they never got the chance.
Sunday, August 9, 2009
Worst blogger ever
I think the Facebook status update has transformed my writing. No longer can I even visit this site for over two months, even if I have something to write about, because I find my interests constantly changing.
That's an interesting idea: The constance of change in interests affects the modern human more than ever.
With access, something that used to be only for the select few but now seems only natural, we are given all the choices at once and told to decide on doing this, that or the other thing. Of course that only comes to those with access. Computers or television or radio get to be in on the information. So, I guess, the access is just different. You still have to pay for it, in some way, and you also have to know what to do with it once you have it.
I have heard it said we have "information overload." Yes, I can agree. However, we have the freedom of choice to unplug and forget about all that information. Some of us become access addicts, really. I love my news in the morning, stalking my friends and co-workers on Facebook and, generally, being "in on the know."
But I have this sinking feeling it can lead me and others to losing that which is ourselves: Who we are. Sure, it can help up have great conversations or work on helping us form opinions but, if not taken carefully, it can overcome our BS meters and force us into becoming blinded to a second side to a story.
I think a good step back, every now and again, does us good, especially considering just how things have been going.
That's an interesting idea: The constance of change in interests affects the modern human more than ever.
With access, something that used to be only for the select few but now seems only natural, we are given all the choices at once and told to decide on doing this, that or the other thing. Of course that only comes to those with access. Computers or television or radio get to be in on the information. So, I guess, the access is just different. You still have to pay for it, in some way, and you also have to know what to do with it once you have it.
I have heard it said we have "information overload." Yes, I can agree. However, we have the freedom of choice to unplug and forget about all that information. Some of us become access addicts, really. I love my news in the morning, stalking my friends and co-workers on Facebook and, generally, being "in on the know."
But I have this sinking feeling it can lead me and others to losing that which is ourselves: Who we are. Sure, it can help up have great conversations or work on helping us form opinions but, if not taken carefully, it can overcome our BS meters and force us into becoming blinded to a second side to a story.
I think a good step back, every now and again, does us good, especially considering just how things have been going.
Monday, June 1, 2009
Something actually worth writing about
So, here I am on the eve of taking an improv class. I have never taken such a thing but I can remember playing the game "freeze" in high school.
So I am going to what I believe is the best spot in town, hoping to both learn and prosper. I figure I am sometimes funny and I know a lot about the world so I guess I just need to think about confidence.
Over the past years I have had no real reason to feel confident.I am working at a job I don't want, living in an apartment I don't like and hanging out with people I really don't want to.
But this one is for me so I am looking forward to it. Credit card be damned (I will regret later saying)!
In my quest to experience life, I think this will be a good venture to see if I can interpret what I have seen. Granted, most of what I have seen is in small doses or on television...
That's it! That is why they say that people who want to write shouldn't watch so much television. It is because it is a medium that only gives you a visual glimpse into reality that is already "produced." Therefore, if you were to only watch television, these are mostly made up characters. Emulation is futile because no one would really act in such a manner.
Sorry, blog that only I read. I didn't mean to jump around. I just saw something and went for it.
Peace.
So I am going to what I believe is the best spot in town, hoping to both learn and prosper. I figure I am sometimes funny and I know a lot about the world so I guess I just need to think about confidence.
Over the past years I have had no real reason to feel confident.I am working at a job I don't want, living in an apartment I don't like and hanging out with people I really don't want to.
But this one is for me so I am looking forward to it. Credit card be damned (I will regret later saying)!
In my quest to experience life, I think this will be a good venture to see if I can interpret what I have seen. Granted, most of what I have seen is in small doses or on television...
That's it! That is why they say that people who want to write shouldn't watch so much television. It is because it is a medium that only gives you a visual glimpse into reality that is already "produced." Therefore, if you were to only watch television, these are mostly made up characters. Emulation is futile because no one would really act in such a manner.
Sorry, blog that only I read. I didn't mean to jump around. I just saw something and went for it.
Peace.
Monday, April 20, 2009
The human character
So, recently I have been thinking quite a bit about the idea of character. Having tried to be a writer, at least to myself and, more recently, putting on a play that I wrote, I have been trying to dig into what makes a character and why they do what they do.
People can either create their character or interpret the traits of other characters as a conglomeration of a bunch of things they observe.
Artists are here to do the same as well. One can either originate or interpret the work of another. They are a marriage, truly. They are necessary to the success of the other. Think about the unread book, the unseen movie, the unheard song. Without your eyes, your ears, your senses, these things exist just for themselves.
When people become conscious of who they are, of what they do, do these choose to embrace their traits or do they try to sculpt them in different ways? Example: I would like to know how to cook. After acquiring the tools of the trade, do I cook? Not really. I did make mashed potatoes and I made my version of huevos rancheros but I don't know how to cook. Ir my unplayed guitar. Good intentions but poor execution.
So, does the character, the human character, always do what is supposed to or does it try to remain an undefinable entity? I'll let you know when I figure it out.
People can either create their character or interpret the traits of other characters as a conglomeration of a bunch of things they observe.
Artists are here to do the same as well. One can either originate or interpret the work of another. They are a marriage, truly. They are necessary to the success of the other. Think about the unread book, the unseen movie, the unheard song. Without your eyes, your ears, your senses, these things exist just for themselves.
When people become conscious of who they are, of what they do, do these choose to embrace their traits or do they try to sculpt them in different ways? Example: I would like to know how to cook. After acquiring the tools of the trade, do I cook? Not really. I did make mashed potatoes and I made my version of huevos rancheros but I don't know how to cook. Ir my unplayed guitar. Good intentions but poor execution.
So, does the character, the human character, always do what is supposed to or does it try to remain an undefinable entity? I'll let you know when I figure it out.
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Modern human development
A long time ago, long before the dawn of civilization, humans had basic necessities: Eat, sleep and procreate. In there they also probably sought shelter, since their skin had only a limited amount of hair and, judging by the climates we chose to inhabit, we would need to have someplace to keep us warm during the crap weather.
Eventually we created tools, like most creatures do. Our hands and feet were great for some things but not all. It was easier to dig holes or carry things with the right equipment. And clothing also helped us maintain our body temperature when were to lazy to move beyond our season-changing locations.
So, flash forward to modern times, we not only have all the basics covered but we have moved well beyond into the world of automation and motion. We can travel farther, faster and more than we could have imagined in our hides and bone tools. However, many of us are become complacent to the world and this is troubling, to say the least.
With all the advancements we have made we all begin assuming rather than knowing. We assume we are guaranteed tomorrow or guaranteed that, if we work, we will be provided with the currency to provide ourselves the means by and which we survive. Of course, in a modern world, no one has to worry too much about these fundamental things because, well, we have support structures and safety nets and, the evil of all evils, credit.
Our world is now in a false peril because of that last little bit. Once assumed that, if one puts forth an effort, one is rewarded. So we extend and extend and extend ourselves out to the point where the house of cards could crumble at any moment. I am not just talking about the small change stuff like credit cards and car loans. I am talking about loans from banks to other banks, investment loans and business loans. I am referring to companies extending themselves on the false assumption that a short-term demand (in the grander scheme of things) is enough reason to extend oneself to the brink of collapse.
Banks are a thing that I have become more and more intrigued with as of late. The headlines alone give one reason to pause because the collective money of others, and the collective debt, lead one to believe that no one knew what they were doing. We saw a collapse in the 1920s that forced the government to have to insure the deposits of the individuals. We saw the scams of the savings and loan companies of the 1980s. And now we see a scam where banks traded unpaid mortgages as a commodity rather than something solvent like a company with an actual product.
Once it all caved in, when all their excess fund dried up and were spent, all of these giants of the finance world were left with the reality that they pushed it too far, made too many mistakes and now are reigning in the funding.
Just the other day I went to apply for a refinancing of my student loans. I have not missed a payment for years, when I was in my growing pain years of my late 20s, and I have tried to maintain good credit by paying or overpaying my loans to the point at which I am comfortably having enough money. However, I was informed that my debt-to-income ration would require me to get someone to co-sign a loan. Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, I realize that, as far as income goes, I do not have all that much. But I also do not drown in debt every month. But I did take out student loans when I was younger and they are almost my annual income. However, my payments don't choke me all that bad, just that it will take me a good, long while to pay them off.
All I was looking for was a lower interest rate through my bank. If could do that, I could attach it to my bank account and overpay that as well. As it stands, I am paying too high an interest because, two years ago, the interest rates were godawful.
While I agree that I am a tadpole in Lake Superior, I think I deserve a shot at a lower interest rate just like AIG gets a bailout. I handle my finances better than they do. I shouldn't have to be made to feel like an ass because I have debt, should I?
I know I lost track of my point but my point is that this is the reality we face. That is our world in common. Everyone is affected by this modern era. Now if we could only get back to basics.
Eventually we created tools, like most creatures do. Our hands and feet were great for some things but not all. It was easier to dig holes or carry things with the right equipment. And clothing also helped us maintain our body temperature when were to lazy to move beyond our season-changing locations.
So, flash forward to modern times, we not only have all the basics covered but we have moved well beyond into the world of automation and motion. We can travel farther, faster and more than we could have imagined in our hides and bone tools. However, many of us are become complacent to the world and this is troubling, to say the least.
With all the advancements we have made we all begin assuming rather than knowing. We assume we are guaranteed tomorrow or guaranteed that, if we work, we will be provided with the currency to provide ourselves the means by and which we survive. Of course, in a modern world, no one has to worry too much about these fundamental things because, well, we have support structures and safety nets and, the evil of all evils, credit.
Our world is now in a false peril because of that last little bit. Once assumed that, if one puts forth an effort, one is rewarded. So we extend and extend and extend ourselves out to the point where the house of cards could crumble at any moment. I am not just talking about the small change stuff like credit cards and car loans. I am talking about loans from banks to other banks, investment loans and business loans. I am referring to companies extending themselves on the false assumption that a short-term demand (in the grander scheme of things) is enough reason to extend oneself to the brink of collapse.
Banks are a thing that I have become more and more intrigued with as of late. The headlines alone give one reason to pause because the collective money of others, and the collective debt, lead one to believe that no one knew what they were doing. We saw a collapse in the 1920s that forced the government to have to insure the deposits of the individuals. We saw the scams of the savings and loan companies of the 1980s. And now we see a scam where banks traded unpaid mortgages as a commodity rather than something solvent like a company with an actual product.
Once it all caved in, when all their excess fund dried up and were spent, all of these giants of the finance world were left with the reality that they pushed it too far, made too many mistakes and now are reigning in the funding.
Just the other day I went to apply for a refinancing of my student loans. I have not missed a payment for years, when I was in my growing pain years of my late 20s, and I have tried to maintain good credit by paying or overpaying my loans to the point at which I am comfortably having enough money. However, I was informed that my debt-to-income ration would require me to get someone to co-sign a loan. Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, I realize that, as far as income goes, I do not have all that much. But I also do not drown in debt every month. But I did take out student loans when I was younger and they are almost my annual income. However, my payments don't choke me all that bad, just that it will take me a good, long while to pay them off.
All I was looking for was a lower interest rate through my bank. If could do that, I could attach it to my bank account and overpay that as well. As it stands, I am paying too high an interest because, two years ago, the interest rates were godawful.
While I agree that I am a tadpole in Lake Superior, I think I deserve a shot at a lower interest rate just like AIG gets a bailout. I handle my finances better than they do. I shouldn't have to be made to feel like an ass because I have debt, should I?
I know I lost track of my point but my point is that this is the reality we face. That is our world in common. Everyone is affected by this modern era. Now if we could only get back to basics.
Saturday, November 22, 2008
Been a lot lately
When life gives you lemons, you are supposed to make lemonade, right?
Well, I don't know about you but I have been holding onto those lemons for a long, long time and am now just realizing that I may have been looking at it all wrong.
So I hold a lemon in my hand, inspect it, and crush it. One by one I am making me some lemonade, just not as progressively as others.
I have spent the last couple of years in what I can only describe as a state of denial. I denied I had a gambling problem, I denied that I was content with my work and my living situation. I looked for escape routes where ever I could find them and I left the country or went to casino or went to Duluth or I just went into more denial and put it all in the back of my brain.
But something wonderful has happened to me as of late. I have done some growing up and realize that it is okay to be 34 years old and it is okay to work where I work, even if it isn't the dream job.
I have also spent a lot more time not letting people run my life for me. These past three days I have planned my life for me, not for anyone else. I called friends who I haven't seen in a while and took a walk out in the cold. I pulled the camera out of the dust. I cleaned things in my apartment that need cleaning. I went through my computer and cleaned out things that I didn't need.
I wrote a play a couple of years ago called "Late Bloomer." It is about someone who traces back through his life only realize all of his missteps make him a stronger person, or at least the person he is. It is partly autobiographical in that I always want to apologize to people for having been who I was when I was that person. So, for every dumb thing I said or did, I wanted to apologize.
But is that how life should go? Should we have to apologize when we are self-conscious or when we actually do things in a malicious manner? I take the later, as it does not benefit one to beat themselves up for their past. I have done plenty of that and, in turn, have denied myself who I could be. It have me an easy out and I was able to not try as hard because, well, I didn't feel deserving of success. But that is going to change. Enough feeling like I don't deserve better. I am better. I am awesome. Screw those that don't understand that or want to put me down to make themselves feel better.
Now is the time to seize my life, make my decisions and make me happy. Good luck to me...
Well, I don't know about you but I have been holding onto those lemons for a long, long time and am now just realizing that I may have been looking at it all wrong.
So I hold a lemon in my hand, inspect it, and crush it. One by one I am making me some lemonade, just not as progressively as others.
I have spent the last couple of years in what I can only describe as a state of denial. I denied I had a gambling problem, I denied that I was content with my work and my living situation. I looked for escape routes where ever I could find them and I left the country or went to casino or went to Duluth or I just went into more denial and put it all in the back of my brain.
But something wonderful has happened to me as of late. I have done some growing up and realize that it is okay to be 34 years old and it is okay to work where I work, even if it isn't the dream job.
I have also spent a lot more time not letting people run my life for me. These past three days I have planned my life for me, not for anyone else. I called friends who I haven't seen in a while and took a walk out in the cold. I pulled the camera out of the dust. I cleaned things in my apartment that need cleaning. I went through my computer and cleaned out things that I didn't need.
I wrote a play a couple of years ago called "Late Bloomer." It is about someone who traces back through his life only realize all of his missteps make him a stronger person, or at least the person he is. It is partly autobiographical in that I always want to apologize to people for having been who I was when I was that person. So, for every dumb thing I said or did, I wanted to apologize.
But is that how life should go? Should we have to apologize when we are self-conscious or when we actually do things in a malicious manner? I take the later, as it does not benefit one to beat themselves up for their past. I have done plenty of that and, in turn, have denied myself who I could be. It have me an easy out and I was able to not try as hard because, well, I didn't feel deserving of success. But that is going to change. Enough feeling like I don't deserve better. I am better. I am awesome. Screw those that don't understand that or want to put me down to make themselves feel better.
Now is the time to seize my life, make my decisions and make me happy. Good luck to me...
Friday, November 7, 2008
Forecast depressing
Okay, here is the skinny:
I have written a play. I wrote it seven years ago. I re-wrote about 13 more times since then. I have had three readings and have submitted it to several contests around the country. No one has bit.
So I decided, back in August or so, that I would do it my damn self. I had saved some money and found a place to play it and started looking for a director and actors and began putting more and more money away.
Then I held the audition. Only a handful of people showed up and, though we found some people, it didn't fill out the cast. Speed bump one...
Then I made Cory audition and I guess that opened up a can of worms I wasn't expecting. Speed bump two hit this evening when I was informed that I do not have him as my lead because of a lack of faith.
After all this, I am hit with the notion of failure. I have failed to secure the location, failed to secure a cast and just can feel the fail coming on like a bat out of hell.
Am I just being a big baby? I sure hope not.
I have written a play. I wrote it seven years ago. I re-wrote about 13 more times since then. I have had three readings and have submitted it to several contests around the country. No one has bit.
So I decided, back in August or so, that I would do it my damn self. I had saved some money and found a place to play it and started looking for a director and actors and began putting more and more money away.
Then I held the audition. Only a handful of people showed up and, though we found some people, it didn't fill out the cast. Speed bump one...
Then I made Cory audition and I guess that opened up a can of worms I wasn't expecting. Speed bump two hit this evening when I was informed that I do not have him as my lead because of a lack of faith.
After all this, I am hit with the notion of failure. I have failed to secure the location, failed to secure a cast and just can feel the fail coming on like a bat out of hell.
Am I just being a big baby? I sure hope not.
Monday, October 27, 2008
Putting my apartment back together
Okay, here is the skinny:
Over the past summer my apartment has fallen apart on many levels. The first was a gutter problem that forced water to enter my apartment through my bedroom wall. I didn't find out about the leak until it had destroyed a couple of things in my bedroom (and pissed me off to no end).
The second is Cory's shower, which, I guess, has been leaking between the tiles for quite some time. So Cory has been without a shower now for 3 weeks. Oh, if you didn't know, we each have our own bedrooms, albeit mine is in the public area.
Two weeks ago the third catastrophe hit our apartment when our dishwasher stopped working properly. So, now I am a manual dishwasher. Awesome!
well, some good news came our way. The gutter got fixed and the hole patched. This morning I put the bookcase back into place (it is 7 feet tall and weighs a ton). Now I can see out of all of my windows again!
Cory got a call this morning that I can only assume meant that they would be starting on his shower soon. And, on Wednesday, they should be coming in to work on the dishwasher.
This is the last, I repeat, last year I will live in this apartment. I don't care if they were to paint the walls, put in new cupboards or colored carpet. This is year number four and I haven't lived anywhere this long since becoming an adult. Besides, Edina is okay but it is not the urban life I dreamt of. I want my latte from across the street. Same with a pizza or a bar (if I ever decide to drink heavily). I just need things to be within walking distance, that's all. And character. My apartment has no character and a crappy, slow elevator to go to my car.
But the bookcase is back in place and my room looks less like a construction zone.
Peace.
Over the past summer my apartment has fallen apart on many levels. The first was a gutter problem that forced water to enter my apartment through my bedroom wall. I didn't find out about the leak until it had destroyed a couple of things in my bedroom (and pissed me off to no end).
The second is Cory's shower, which, I guess, has been leaking between the tiles for quite some time. So Cory has been without a shower now for 3 weeks. Oh, if you didn't know, we each have our own bedrooms, albeit mine is in the public area.
Two weeks ago the third catastrophe hit our apartment when our dishwasher stopped working properly. So, now I am a manual dishwasher. Awesome!
well, some good news came our way. The gutter got fixed and the hole patched. This morning I put the bookcase back into place (it is 7 feet tall and weighs a ton). Now I can see out of all of my windows again!
Cory got a call this morning that I can only assume meant that they would be starting on his shower soon. And, on Wednesday, they should be coming in to work on the dishwasher.
This is the last, I repeat, last year I will live in this apartment. I don't care if they were to paint the walls, put in new cupboards or colored carpet. This is year number four and I haven't lived anywhere this long since becoming an adult. Besides, Edina is okay but it is not the urban life I dreamt of. I want my latte from across the street. Same with a pizza or a bar (if I ever decide to drink heavily). I just need things to be within walking distance, that's all. And character. My apartment has no character and a crappy, slow elevator to go to my car.
But the bookcase is back in place and my room looks less like a construction zone.
Peace.
Monday, October 13, 2008
Consumerism: Spend less
This morning I logged into my Wells Fargo account and did something I like to do with my "my money" week income: I paid down my bills and transferred money to my credit card.
I know this is something one should do all of the time but it took me longer than most to really build up a head of steam. You see, for most of my adult life, I have been in love with the trappings of making money rather than the eventual having of money for a future expenditure.
It all started when I bought my most extravagant purchase in my adult life: My television. Forty-two inches diagonal, 1080p and having all the bells and whistles one could ask for, I struggled for weeks with the intention of purchasing an LCD television. One day, on a whim, now it seems, I went to the store and took out an interest-free, three-year loan to buy an $1,800 television (including warranty and DVD player). But that's when it hit me.
Most of the last couple of years, finally achieving constant employment and a steady income, I finally realized I made a big mistake. I didn't need this television. And, if the television lasts for 10 years, it cost nearly $200/year to own it. What the hell was I thinking?
Compounding it with my recent love of cycling, another $2,000 spent this summer, and gambling, $3,500/year on average, and it's no wonder that I am debt-laden and pondering the life of minimalist.
What it all comes down to is that, after years of bad habits, I realize I got caught up in an expensive lifestyle. Thank goodness I make enough money to have this lifestyle but it has buried me. I owe more money, at present, than I make in a year (including student loans). I realize that, at minimum payments, I could only knock my debt down by $3,000 in the next year. Only $3,000! Meanwhile I would be paying $2,400 in interest over that time!
Most people who find themselves in over their heads try to change when it is too late. Not me. I started a couple of months ago. Any extra money I have in a month is going to be broken up as such: Additional $10/month to television, $50 extra to credit card, $50 to savings and changing the minimum payment to student loan by $25. Hopefully, in a year (or less) I have no television payment, cut my credit card by 1/3 and, finally, got my total debt below my annual pre-tax income.
Let's just hope I don't want some new toy. So far, so good.
Peace.
I know this is something one should do all of the time but it took me longer than most to really build up a head of steam. You see, for most of my adult life, I have been in love with the trappings of making money rather than the eventual having of money for a future expenditure.
It all started when I bought my most extravagant purchase in my adult life: My television. Forty-two inches diagonal, 1080p and having all the bells and whistles one could ask for, I struggled for weeks with the intention of purchasing an LCD television. One day, on a whim, now it seems, I went to the store and took out an interest-free, three-year loan to buy an $1,800 television (including warranty and DVD player). But that's when it hit me.
Most of the last couple of years, finally achieving constant employment and a steady income, I finally realized I made a big mistake. I didn't need this television. And, if the television lasts for 10 years, it cost nearly $200/year to own it. What the hell was I thinking?
Compounding it with my recent love of cycling, another $2,000 spent this summer, and gambling, $3,500/year on average, and it's no wonder that I am debt-laden and pondering the life of minimalist.
What it all comes down to is that, after years of bad habits, I realize I got caught up in an expensive lifestyle. Thank goodness I make enough money to have this lifestyle but it has buried me. I owe more money, at present, than I make in a year (including student loans). I realize that, at minimum payments, I could only knock my debt down by $3,000 in the next year. Only $3,000! Meanwhile I would be paying $2,400 in interest over that time!
Most people who find themselves in over their heads try to change when it is too late. Not me. I started a couple of months ago. Any extra money I have in a month is going to be broken up as such: Additional $10/month to television, $50 extra to credit card, $50 to savings and changing the minimum payment to student loan by $25. Hopefully, in a year (or less) I have no television payment, cut my credit card by 1/3 and, finally, got my total debt below my annual pre-tax income.
Let's just hope I don't want some new toy. So far, so good.
Peace.
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
My billion-dollar idea
After a recent trip to the area known as Duluth, I have come up with a plan to make the best place on Earth.
Okay, maybe not the best place on Earth, since I haven't been many places, but it could be the best place to come along in a long time.
I started by contacting the mayor of Duluth, who hasn't written me back yet, about an idea to revitalize the area and make Duluth one of the best places to live.
Okay, I am beating around the bush a bit but I am tired. The idea is pretty simple and holds very little risk. What you do is you take the existing land in Duluth and you take all of the open spaces in the harbor and all of the open office spaces you can think of and zone them "Green." This would mean that only companies that follow the idea of making eco-friendly products could build in them.
Secondly, you convince companies, both established and startup, to move their assembly and production to Duluth. Utilizing tax incentives and lower the price of slip space, you attract eco-minded companies to the new "friendliest port in the world."
Once you convince them to come, you have the depressed workforce create the facilities and new infrastructure necessary to house factories and ship-building areas in the harbor. All of this could be done with a little elbow grease, a lot of determination, and little money on the part of the city.
The idea would be to create a win-win situation for Duluth and the world. If it succeeds, and, as I see it, it could not lose, we gain a port of excellence where not only do we revitalize a depressed area but we also create a model for the rest of the world to follow.
I am very enthusiastic about this and I think that it would cost very little on the part of the city and would add jobs, do good for the world, and bring pride to an area that deserves it.
Let's just hope I get a chance to be heard.
Okay, maybe not the best place on Earth, since I haven't been many places, but it could be the best place to come along in a long time.
I started by contacting the mayor of Duluth, who hasn't written me back yet, about an idea to revitalize the area and make Duluth one of the best places to live.
Okay, I am beating around the bush a bit but I am tired. The idea is pretty simple and holds very little risk. What you do is you take the existing land in Duluth and you take all of the open spaces in the harbor and all of the open office spaces you can think of and zone them "Green." This would mean that only companies that follow the idea of making eco-friendly products could build in them.
Secondly, you convince companies, both established and startup, to move their assembly and production to Duluth. Utilizing tax incentives and lower the price of slip space, you attract eco-minded companies to the new "friendliest port in the world."
Once you convince them to come, you have the depressed workforce create the facilities and new infrastructure necessary to house factories and ship-building areas in the harbor. All of this could be done with a little elbow grease, a lot of determination, and little money on the part of the city.
The idea would be to create a win-win situation for Duluth and the world. If it succeeds, and, as I see it, it could not lose, we gain a port of excellence where not only do we revitalize a depressed area but we also create a model for the rest of the world to follow.
I am very enthusiastic about this and I think that it would cost very little on the part of the city and would add jobs, do good for the world, and bring pride to an area that deserves it.
Let's just hope I get a chance to be heard.
Sunday, October 5, 2008
October musings
I haven't written in a while and that is okay because I haven't really been in the mood.
But since I last wrote I have ventured to Duluth where I revisited my past and helped my current perspective, got sick and did something political (other than gripe about it).
First off is the trip to Duluth. Gone were some of my former haunts and changed were my beloved campus of my early 20s. The house I last resided in, with Cory, my roommate, was abandoned and is probably in foreclosure. Looks pretty much how it did 9 years ago when I left. The campus has been updated and upgraded with more consumerism is mind yet, it seems, less of an academic feel. I found it funny when, asking for the use of a pen, a young student did not have more than one writing tool in his bag. So what does this young academic do when he loses his one pen? Huh? Tell me! (As a waiter I carry 6 pens and a marker).
What struck me as great about the journey was that, eventhough I was a tourist, I felt I could have easily acclimated to the city if I so chose to move back.
And then was getting sick. The morning after my trip I awoke to feeling like crap and decided to sleep most of the day and most of the following day. I did go to work and finished my shifts but I was so out of it, last night, that I felt like I wasn't there. I rarely fall ill, maybe once every other year, but this was definitely not a fun one.
As far as political participation, I went canvassing for the Obama campaign. It was fun and I also met a nice guy named Ben who works in the entertainment industry so I made a possible future ally. We'll see, though.
All in all, it has been an interesting week. I am beginning preparation for my first production this January and Ben gave me a good idea to have a party to raise money for the production. We'll see how that goes.
Peace.
But since I last wrote I have ventured to Duluth where I revisited my past and helped my current perspective, got sick and did something political (other than gripe about it).
First off is the trip to Duluth. Gone were some of my former haunts and changed were my beloved campus of my early 20s. The house I last resided in, with Cory, my roommate, was abandoned and is probably in foreclosure. Looks pretty much how it did 9 years ago when I left. The campus has been updated and upgraded with more consumerism is mind yet, it seems, less of an academic feel. I found it funny when, asking for the use of a pen, a young student did not have more than one writing tool in his bag. So what does this young academic do when he loses his one pen? Huh? Tell me! (As a waiter I carry 6 pens and a marker).
What struck me as great about the journey was that, eventhough I was a tourist, I felt I could have easily acclimated to the city if I so chose to move back.
And then was getting sick. The morning after my trip I awoke to feeling like crap and decided to sleep most of the day and most of the following day. I did go to work and finished my shifts but I was so out of it, last night, that I felt like I wasn't there. I rarely fall ill, maybe once every other year, but this was definitely not a fun one.
As far as political participation, I went canvassing for the Obama campaign. It was fun and I also met a nice guy named Ben who works in the entertainment industry so I made a possible future ally. We'll see, though.
All in all, it has been an interesting week. I am beginning preparation for my first production this January and Ben gave me a good idea to have a party to raise money for the production. We'll see how that goes.
Peace.
Monday, September 15, 2008
Failure is the only option
I have been introspective as of late and I don't like it. Of course, I am introspective most of the time. It's just that it is the thoughts of how my life has gone and the fear of how it will go that makes me sad.
You see, I pile upon myself all of my failures. I look at my life through a negative lens most of the time instead of looking at all of the good I do. That way I can pretend to be a martyr.
The fact that I have accomplished much and don't seem to notice it makes me feel like it might be time to get a therapist. I have traveled to parts of the world, finished college, stayed out of jail, wrote many works of fiction and many works of non-fiction. I haven't killed anybody and tried not to kill many living things, even the house centipedes that have invaded my apartment as of late. And yet the unfinished projects, the unfinished life, the times I tired of the things I have attempted, all surround my neck with anchors.
This morning I remembered going to the football team in college and trying to walk on. The only problem was that I started and gave up. Sure, I had never played organized football in my life but I was naturally gifted with size and good hands. I could get faster and stronger and I was still young. I could have learned how to play but, instead, I stopped showing up. So, even if I had failed to make the cut, I could have said I tried. That was 13 years ago and yet I find myself thinking about it today.
This past summer I bought a bicycle and started riding constantly. I put 600 miles in so far. I am done yet but I am already afraid that I will quit or grow tired of it. If I work harder at it, I could go into the races. If I don't then I can say that I just like to ride. I guess this is my chance to show up and try again, try to stick it out when it gets tough.
But, so far, my life has been a lot of failure in that the things that are difficult, the big decisions, I have avoided. So here I sit, wondering if it will ever be different... Stay tuned.
You see, I pile upon myself all of my failures. I look at my life through a negative lens most of the time instead of looking at all of the good I do. That way I can pretend to be a martyr.
The fact that I have accomplished much and don't seem to notice it makes me feel like it might be time to get a therapist. I have traveled to parts of the world, finished college, stayed out of jail, wrote many works of fiction and many works of non-fiction. I haven't killed anybody and tried not to kill many living things, even the house centipedes that have invaded my apartment as of late. And yet the unfinished projects, the unfinished life, the times I tired of the things I have attempted, all surround my neck with anchors.
This morning I remembered going to the football team in college and trying to walk on. The only problem was that I started and gave up. Sure, I had never played organized football in my life but I was naturally gifted with size and good hands. I could get faster and stronger and I was still young. I could have learned how to play but, instead, I stopped showing up. So, even if I had failed to make the cut, I could have said I tried. That was 13 years ago and yet I find myself thinking about it today.
This past summer I bought a bicycle and started riding constantly. I put 600 miles in so far. I am done yet but I am already afraid that I will quit or grow tired of it. If I work harder at it, I could go into the races. If I don't then I can say that I just like to ride. I guess this is my chance to show up and try again, try to stick it out when it gets tough.
But, so far, my life has been a lot of failure in that the things that are difficult, the big decisions, I have avoided. So here I sit, wondering if it will ever be different... Stay tuned.
Thursday, September 11, 2008
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Oil pricing
Turns out that oil speculation is the reason for the price fluctuation in recent memory. You see, big investors bought and sold enough shares of the commodity to send the prices up to $145/barrel in July and sold enough to have it drop below $104/barrel today.
The government claims it is going to try and curb this trend but isn't it a bit late for that? Shouldn't we all be issued some sort of refund and those that took profit have to pay for it? Just a thought.
The government claims it is going to try and curb this trend but isn't it a bit late for that? Shouldn't we all be issued some sort of refund and those that took profit have to pay for it? Just a thought.
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