Forecast depressing

Okay, here is the skinny:

I have written a play. I wrote it seven years ago. I re-wrote about 13 more times since then. I have had three readings and have submitted it to several contests around the country. No one has bit.

So I decided, back in August or so, that I would do it my damn self. I had saved some money and found a place to play it and started looking for a director and actors and began putting more and more money away.

Then I held the audition. Only a handful of people showed up and, though we found some people, it didn't fill out the cast. Speed bump one...

Then I made Cory audition and I guess that opened up a can of worms I wasn't expecting. Speed bump two hit this evening when I was informed that I do not have him as my lead because of a lack of faith.

After all this, I am hit with the notion of failure. I have failed to secure the location, failed to secure a cast and just can feel the fail coming on like a bat out of hell.

Am I just being a big baby? I sure hope not.

Re-writing the play

Here I sit with a script in one hand and a coffee in the other. I am going through a time of not finishing any plays, a new thing for me.

I am working on them, I swear, but this is also a time to revisit first drafts and make revisions. The play I am editing right now is called "The Bond." It is a play about a young girl who tries to kill herself but fails and must deal with the unraveling through therapy and the reasons behind her choice. A real comfy story, huh?

Anyway, the first couple scenes were terrible. I made so many changes right away that I was worried that it was going to be a total rewrite. However, it has gotten better so I will keep going.

The problem with writing a first draft is that you are simply trying to get all the thoughts down and finish the idea off. That takes a lot of time and energy. Most times I put the draft away for at least a year and move onto something else. This time I pulled out one of them and the pain begins again because it is now you, later on, and all of your new experiences have to deal with how you were when you wrote it originally.

But you do it. You spend even more time, literally, going line-by-line, pages after pages, marking it up and, hopefully, you get the draft done... Until you do it all over again another year or so later.

So, right now, I am slogging through the script, hoping that, by editing, I will draw inspiration for the next play I will finish. My goal was to have at least five done by this time but I have the big zero done. Pretty sad, if I do say.