Pissed off for no good reason

I am tired of my life. Day in and day out it is this lame cycle that goes the same. I do the same thing, go to the same places, with the same people, and work at the same job doing the same thing like a cookie cutter.

I look mostly the same and I still feed the same vices. I make no headway on anything and I don't get any real satisfaction from anything anymore.

What I could use is moving away and starting wholly over with my life. I could do it, I really could. I just need a backpack to carry my TV in...

But seriously I have tried very little, honestly, to change my life. Maybe I am afraid of something or maybe I am just down in the dumps. Whatever it is it is making me lose my smile. I am happy in little spurts these days and can't shake the feeling that I have already achieved the best I will achieve.

I don't want to turn to drugs or alcohol and, if I told anyone other than a blog how I am feeling, I would be ridiculed. How fortunate that this blog is not read by anyone...

Tomorrow I will get up and go for a long bike ride. I may go longer than ever before because I am having problems shaking my insecurities and a good ride seems to make me feel better.

Peace.